reasons i quit my job today

i walked out at 8:30 after two and a half hours because:


-it's depressing to see people going to first shift or finishing up night shift and looking like they hate life and buying cigarettes and coffee and the shitty local newspaper
-a lot of other things are depressing as well, like the old ladies who work there for 8 bucks an hour and vacuum every half hour because it is their world and talk about regular customers like, "my pumpkin spice lady didn't come in today" which can definitely be charming but also so pathetic
-people kept coming in and talking about how nice the weather is outside
-i don't smoke so i have no simple pleasures to look forward to at work except text messages, and no one is awake when i'm there anyway
-when people hire you because you are pretty, they are probably less charming/more creepy than they initially seem
-talking shit behind someone's back is one thing, but talking shit on purpose so the target of your criticism can hear you is bullshit. it is obvious that the old ladies at that place have it out for the younger girls and kept saying things like, "one of them was blah blah blah" and "i'm gonna talk to the three of 'em about this [petty thing that super bothers old ladies who work at gas stations]"


that last reason is the real straw that broke the camels back. i don't make rash decisions, and this wasn't one. i started considering quitting around 6:45. i thought about money and how much i need it and what it is worth to me. i made deals with myself--stay til 8 at least. don't quit unless she says something else. and then at 8:27 she started talking to the other lady, while behind the same counter as me, about how i was leaning against the counter when i should be filling coffee cup lids. she wasn't even supposed to be there. she was supposed to have gone home at 6 am and she had been there since 10 last night and no wonder she's crabby, but she is off the clock and still working and i asked the other lady why and she said, "oh, she doesn't mind" and i am thinking, it doesn't matter if she minds, it's goddamn illegal. and the lady is saying the boss insinuated that he wants her to stay because the lottery guy is coming and she needs to learn the lottery. but you can't use a lottery machine on night shift, lottery closes at 10pm. so there is no reason she needed to be there, except to make me hate life. and she screamed, to the other lady but i was obviously supposed to hear it, when the other lady, clearly a traitor, told her i was doing her sudoku puzzle. had i known it was hers, i wouldn't have done it, but i saw it and i did it because i was bored and it was just a newspaper page sitting there, and she freaked right out. and i honestly felt bad, and if i wasn't a sleepy zombie i would have thought about it and not done it but i certainly didn't expect it to be a big deal. i considered copying it for her on paper but she didn't even say anything to me, just loudly about me, so as far as she knew i didn't even hear her yelling in the cooler. it was only one star of difficulty and it was a really lame one and i can't believe she was saving it to do at home. aren't sudoku what people should do at a gas station during the graveyard shift? whatever, i saw a sudoku, and i went for it, and i'm only a little bit sorry.

two and a half hours and they smashed my bright little spirit to smithereens.

i get more respect at the rustic kitchen and three dollars more an hour and i have more fun. i have a goddamn bachelors degree, and whether or not i am doing anything with it right now, i can't have my high school miserable job back with the same shitty pay. i thought i could, but i can't. i got integrity. in-fuckin-tegrity.

goddamn.

the boss, "ace" wants me to go vent to him and try to talk me into returning or something, maybe for a different position. he said he'll give me gas money. he'll probably grab my ass free of charge. i am so annoyed right now.