if you could make another one of you then you wouldn't give the other one to me

the world is getting smaller.

i slept in a girl's bed in brooklyn without having met her. my friend who is her roommate told me she is from london. when i got home she messaged me because we both know the same girl from london, one of maybe three people in london i know, with whom she went to high school and whom i met when i studied abroad. the girl in london has my raleigh wayfarer now. i still have not yet met the girl from brooklyn.

i went to a party expecting to maybe not have fun. i had a lot of fun, in fact, enough fun to at least temporarily change my then-increasingly-dismal outlook. i saw a boy i had met once before who is from austin and found out later that his brother lives with one of maybe three people in austin i know. my austin friend is the ex-boyfriend of a girl i considered my hands-down best friend for a long time. i haven't spoken to her in a long time now but i do miss her.

brendan left today, for russia, for a year.

if all of my friends wrap around the world, then the world will be so small.

i bought two pairs of flats from target and decided to start dressing more like a girl, once and for all. i also noticed that i seem to have started liking the color purple, previously my least favorite. i have talked to a lot of girls lately, well a lot compared to my usual none, about boys, and it's weird that we all have the same neuroses and concerns and insecurities. one girl kept saying that there has to be a better way to be. i guess that depends on each of us. i certainly haven't figured it out yet. girls are all the same and that makes the world so small.

today while listening to a speaker talk about asset building, i counted all the boys i have ever kissed or been kissed by writing their initials on the back of a hellomynameis name tag. i don't know comparatively if it is high or low or average, but i would bet one of the second two.

when the conductor fucks up you can't blame the symphony

so I wont blame you if you don't blame me

don't bother trying to figure this nonsense out.